I hope you’re ready for a wonderful weekend!
It’s late Friday afternoon, and while I am so grateful for the present moment (and the pleasure of writing to you!), I’m also looking forward to the early evening. I’ll be meeting up with my friend Niccole for tea in a nearby town. We’ll only be meeting for an hour or so, but even if we meet only briefly, we always have an amazing time.
Today, I’m so grateful to say that I feel “connected” to a good number of amazingly CHIC (Confident, Happy, Inspired and Connected) women who inspire me. But until I learned to feel very CHIC, I sometimes found it quite challenging to make “real” friends with other women because of my own (absolutely absurd) envy/intimidation.
“Ugh. That girl is seriously so pretty…” I thought to myself when I first looked around one of my classes and saw Niccole. I have to admit, initially I felt a bit intimidated/put off by this girl I knew absolutely nothing of, for no reason other than my perception of her as prettier than me. (Replace “prettier” with “smarter”/”more accomplished”/”better organized”/”more passionate”…and you can cover the whole gamut of insecurities we women might feel).
As it turns out, Niccole later confessed that she had the same exact thought when she first saw me!
Fortunately, we’re both at a point in our lives where—despite initial, fleeting knee-jerk reactions leftover from vain, modern adolescence—we now feel Confident, Happy, Inspired and Connected (in a word, CHIC!). We’ve become amazing friends, and embrace our shared Polish heritage, passion for fashion, and genuine desire to build supportive friendships with other fabulous women.
I’m constantly inspired by Niccole’s incredible beauty and style, ease connecting with and navigating all sorts of social circles, and drive to make her mark on the fashion industry. She also has an amazingly healthy, happy relationship toward balanced nutrition and exercise (which isn’t a quality to take for granted, especially in our demographic and in this day and age). And her confidence assures me that I can always talk about my biggest dreams with full passion and energy—and I know she will never be intimidated or dismissive.
My life would be poorer without this very CHIC friend—but I’m acutely aware of just how easy it would have been for me to ruin our friendship before it had even begun if I harbored an insecure, easily threatened, low-energy mindset. We all need to stop assuming that other beautiful women are threatening, intimidating or bound to sabatoge us! If they really are “beautiful” and they really are mature “women”, I promise they’re not.
A little self-awareness, and a lot of self-love goes a long way 🙂
My 7 tried-and-true tips for making friends with CHIC women (especially when you feel intimidated):
- Remember your sense of self-worth comes from your passions, your positivity, your personality, and your power to love others and yourself. Not your looks, not your bank account, not the stage you’re at on the journey to making your dreams come true. You’re beautiful and brilliant, I’m beautiful and brilliant—let’s move on and get to know each other!
- Don’t judge!! Stop imagining that someone else is “haughty” or “vain” or “mean” just because of the way that they look. When you do that, darling, you’re the one being exclusive and limiting.
- Approach new friendships as opportunities to feel connected and inspired, and have fun. You’re not desperate by any means, and lead a full and fulfilling life…but isn’t there always more room for more joy, more love? There is in my life!
- Dress in a way that makes you feel fabulous about your own appearance. I find it much easier to be confident, outgoing, and loving when I think I look lovely too. Of course the ultimate source of your beauty is within, but why not give yourself the exterior confidence when dressing beautifully and getting your nails done is so much fun?
- Smile! Be positive. Positive people are magnetic! I cannot tell you how much easier I have found it to make friends ever since I made the choice to fall in love with the present moment, and the life I live right here and now. (Vs. complaining and dreaming of elsewhere.
- Remember, we’re all in the same boat! We’re all just trying to live well, care for our bodies and our souls, love others, and accept and love ourselves. I cannot begin to tell you how many of my closest friends—by whom I was initially intimidated—were once upon a brief moment intimidated by me! Sheer madness!
- Be confident, and direct. After a great conversation with someone fabulous, just put yourself out there: “you’re fabulous! We should totally switch numbers and be friends!”. Seriously, it’s that simple.
Be nice. Be beautiful. Be CHIC. Enjoy your day!